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Wouldn’t the SAT and ACT be easier, if you could solve every math problem using 4th grade math skills?

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Wouldn’t the SAT & ACT be easier if you could solve every math problem using 4th grade math skills?

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I was born in Raleigh, NC and lived there for two years, but I really grew up in Shelby NC. I resided in Shelby For nine years of my life. Most people don't know where Shelby is because its such a small town.  Living in a small town can sometimes be good or bad for a person, but in my case I experienced both.


Growing up there was difficult because of it being such a small population. My best friend in the entire world still lives there, along with some other very close friends that I know I will cherish for the rest of my life.


Unfortunately, all of my good friends were not in my grade in elementary school growing up. I did not get along with most of the kids in my grade, and honestly was bullied as a child. The girls were very mean to me simply because I wasn't up-to-date with elementary school fashions, and they found me uncool for unknown reasons. There were many times when I would come home crying because I thought the girls hated me. I didn't realize at the time that this should not have bothered me so much because they turned out to become teen moms, or not graduate High School. They went nowhere in their lives from what I have heard, and in reality, I came out on top. Those girls ended up having drug or alcohol related problems later in life as well.


The problem with Shelby was that because it was so small there was cliques. Even with this adults, to this day, they all gossip about each other and knows everyone's business. Growing up in an awkward environment like that ultimately made me stronger as a person. Being bullied, and having a hard time fitting in at a young age, made me who I am today. I consider myself a very accepting, kind, and forgiving person. I feel bad for those girls who bullied me as a child, and I hope they eventually get their lives together.


Today if I see someone who isn't the most popular, or who is more quiet, I'm not quick to judge them. I am the first person to be friendly and invite them to join me and my friends. Having a difficult childhood made me a person today who is understanding of how it feels to not be "popular", or the most well-liked. I know how it is to not always be on top, and as a result I have become a person who is willing to be friendly and kind. I try my best to get along with everyone, and I  treat those with respect that I might not particularly like. I treat others as I hope to be treated. Honestly, I am thankful that I grew up in such a small town, because I am completely satisfied with the girl I am today. I am very proud to say that I grew up in Shelby NC.

Sample Submitted Essay

Sample Revised Essay

I spent my formidable years in a small NC Town.  Most people have never heard of Shelby NC, but that was where the foundations of my character were laid.  


I am relatively certain that all of my current friends have fond memories of their early years; memories filled with laughter and learning.  Unfortunately, that was not my experience.  In fact, most days after school, I found myself in tears; the daily loser of a never-ending elementary school popularity contest.  If you've ever been in a situation where you were told, "If you are not wearing the same brand of blue jeans we are wearing, then you cannot be in our group of friends" you know exactly to what I'm referring.  I received a steady onslaught of misery dished out by girls that judged me by my clothing, and nothing else.  


Harassment was my daily battle, and to survive I found myself making mental resolutions.  I began to fill my mind with many resolutions, should I ever break out on top.  Though there is quite a list, my main resolution from that time of suffering was that "No one should ever need a friend when I am around."  To that end, I constantly find myself looking for the outcast in every social circle.  


With a little practice, the outcast, are easy to spot; those lonesome, awkward souls on the fringes of the circle, looking into the center of a circle for acceptance.  I am the first person to invite them to join my group of friends.  I treat others as I hope to be treated now, and as I wanted to be treated when I was younger.  I reach out.  I always reach out.    


At the time, it was inconceivable, but now I realize that I was very positively 'shaped' by all of those early negative experiences.  Like steel in the foundry, the proverbial fire issued from the lips of the 'pseudo-popular' shaped and molded me. I've since realized that the 'pseudo popular' among us are actually some of the most shallow and unsure of all people groups.  Their inherent shallowness requires them to forgo the honest judgement of a person on the merits of their character (for fear that they themselves will be found lacking), and superimpose a convenient, surface level substitute.  True to form, many of the girls at the apex of the 'pseudo popular' circle I had been excluded from in elementary school, became drug addicts, teen moms, and high school dropouts a few years later.  While I'm thankful for what they taught me about how to treat others, I do hope they eventually get their lives together.


Summary:  

I think the difference between the two passages is particularly striking.  The content is mostly there in the first draft.  Unfortunately, it is masked by a flood of grammatical errors, and it lacks a logical progression.  The feel of the first draft is a jumble of thoughts listed in a random stream of conscience.  By the way, the first draft was reviewed by her English teacher, before it was submitted to me for review (and got a “good job”).  

In my assessment the initial essay is written at an 8th - 9th grade competency level.  Significantly, this child was a high school senior (and an AP/ Honors English student with straight A’s as a junior and senior in English).  This same ‘teacher’ once told the student that she was a gifted writer.  Sadly the teacher’s assessment of the student was incorrect, but thankfully, the student’s parents came to me before allowing her to send that initial pile of junk off with an admissions application.

The revised essay, which underwent at least 5 revisions provides incredible insight about the nature of contemporary bullying, and the mindset of those who bully other children.  It also presents a compelling narrative of how one student managed to cope, and fight back.  

A side benefit to the College Admissions Essay Prep Help Service is that you get an “Introduction to English 101” in the process.  

I must say, that this child is quite a ‘writer’ now  ~ having come through our system.

The College Admissions Essay Assistance Service is ridiculously priced below market value at only $95.   

“I think it should be mandatory for every student entering my English 101 Course to If  1) use apostrophes correctly and 2) explain, concisely, when to use an apostrophe and when not to.  If you cannot do these two tasks then you should not be allowed to enroll in college.  

Furthermore, if you come into my class without knowing this basic tenant of our language (along with a lack of  understanding of the difference between and adjective and an adverb, or any manner of basic grammar), I want you to know this right now:  heaven will have mercy on your soul, but I will not.”  

~ John Hodgson

Professor of English

“You will read all of my English 101 papers.  As soon as you come across a misspelled word, comma splice, run-on sentence, incident of subject/verb disagreement, or any other rote occasion of poor grammar, you will identify the error with this red pen, and put an “F” on the paper immediately.  Do not waste your time by bothering to read the rest of the paper, as the material contained therein in my mind is unimportant.

If you manage to read through a paper that is well written and contains no grammatical errors, put it in this box, and I will grade it for content.  

I estimate that out of the stack of papers in front of you, only a handful will make into my box for a content grade.  It’s a shame that so few students have anything worth saying, and even those who do have something to say, invariably can’t say it properly.”

~ An English Professor speaking to his Teaching Assistant (TA) about how the (TA) will grade the Professor’s English 101 papers.

College Admissions Essay Help $95

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